Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
