I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i may or may not be watching the land before time
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
