real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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