summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
