Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
