we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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