i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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