Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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