the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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