I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
