So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
