At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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