i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
