I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
