At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
