the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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