Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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