You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
