okay pat passed out under dana's car
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
