Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
