dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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