she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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