he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
