I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
