lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
