They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you never un-have a 4some
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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