do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
