yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize