Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
