Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
