she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
