Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
