people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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