Plan B is the new Plan A
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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