Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
