dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize