ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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