at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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