I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
