Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
