Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
