I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
