quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
