Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
