He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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