you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
