1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
