Cold hands, warm shart.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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