If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
