I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry mΓ©nage a trios in a closet.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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