She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize