I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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