She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wear drunk well.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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