Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize