Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Don't make out with my wife yet
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
