we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
