Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
