you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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