Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
