what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
