All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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