Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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