I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
