Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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