mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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