I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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