glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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