Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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